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I’ve recently started Twittering under my favorite username: Wilde_at_heart. Thinking back I really should have monopolized this name wherever I could, since I’ve used it in various places since the late 90s – and created a ‘brand’. I just tried to sign up to HuffPo and it’s been taken. Grrr..

 

Anyway, I’ve begun following various screen-writers and so forth on Twitter, once I’ve managed to verify it’s actually them and not some spammer trying to sell me cialis or ‘hot camera pixx’. One of them is John Blumenthal, who also blogs about useful screen-writer-y stuff. And makes me seriously question the wisdom of taken the path of chosen.

 

I suspect the same novel that inspired my previous post inspired this article in Huffington Post by John Blumenthal, though I could be wrong.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-blumenthal/how-to-write-a-bestselling-novel_b_1609799.html?utm_hp_ref=tw

 

In brief, write ‘young adult’ fiction with middle-aged female readers in mind. Use as few words as possible, over as many pages as possible.  Keep the description short, lots of plot turns, lots of dialog. Oh, and throw some vampires/werewolves/aliens somewhere in the mix.

 

Brilliant advice.

 

Basically, just write porno. As in my earlier post, you just need enough to move the story along from one fantasy scene where clothes get torn off to the next location where clothes get torn off.

You don’t need to bother about character development either – rich and ‘so freakin’ hot’ should be enough with a ‘ripped abs’ and smouldering eyes’ in the intro. Those seven words over again and your readers will be having their own wild sex fantasies about them in no time.

 

Off to create a fanfiction login!

 

Hopefully Wilde_at_heart isn’t taken. It has, dammit. NOT ME.

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